My heart: Living in two places

 It has been a little more than two weeks since I've been back in Whitehorse from my Christmas Break in Ontario. It was incredible to be home with my family and friends. I made forts with my nephew, taught a niece to crochet, enjoyed many quality dinners, had a brunch of crepes with friends, sewed a shirt during craft time with my mom, celebrated with our church families the birth of JC and the hope of His coming again, and was just filled with love from my family. I came home exhausted but filled with great memories and happy feelings.
  Then the post-Christmas homesickness hit. It does every year. It is strange to be so close to everything familiar and then in a 9 hour flight be so far away from it all. I've learned to purposely kind of distance myself from my family and Ontario friends for at least a week after flying back. I force myself to immerse into all things Whitehorse in an effort to find the joy and blessing of being here and pull my attention away from the longing for home that clings to my heart.
  I miss holding little Evelyn and smelling the new baby scent of Emily Debra. I'm sad that I can't meet Ryker Kiers and the latest VW (Doug and Barb's) until he/she is grown out of his/her newborn onesies (still waiting for his/her arrival!). I'm glad I could teach almost 2-year old Paul to say "Oh Ya!" instead of always "Oh No!" but I wonder if it has stuck. Coffees with my Mom were cherished as was the time we could spend being creative together in her studio. All my nieces and nephews are growing up so fast on the VW side and every time we leave I wonder if the next time we come back they'll be too "cool" to chat with their aunt amy and uncle mar- or if the younger ones will remember us as we fly in and out of their lives. My brother is moving back to Toronto and I'd love to be able to help with the move and see how they make their new house a home. I'd love to be able to attend the canoe trip meetings my mom is intiating again for the second annual women's trip in Algonquin this summer. Dancing with my cousins at Amanda and Tim's wedding was a blast and I miss those relationships even though I know for those who are in Ontario- the occurrence of seeing each other has also become rare.
  Its hard to live in two places. My heart still longs for the people of southern Ontario, although less and less for the traffic, pace, and pressure of living in one of the most populated areas of the country. It has been good to be back in Whitehorse. Now that I've spent some time here again and have been able to teach, ski, affirm some new friendships, and be blown away by the beauty of this place my homesick heart has been calmed. And through prayer and Scripture I have found some peace that God is here, that He is watching over my coming and going, that He has plans to give us a hope and future, and I will grow closer to Him here.
  I'm praying that I can find my "place" here. Teaching has been good, but it isn't as fulfilling as having your own class, especially in a Christian setting where I was able to really speak the gospel into all areas of the curriculum. Teaching doesn't feel as much like a calling here as a day job. I can still teach with compassion and love for the students I interact with each day and I can affirm their worth as well as guide them in discernment and critical thinking skills, but I miss the relationships I was able to develop wtih my students in my own classroom. There are definitely advantages to the substitute life though and I am making the most of the free time I have. The temperatures have been mild and I've been skiing as much as possible and exploring other hobbies at the same time.
  However, recently I've become convicted by some vereses in Jeremiah 29 to live where I am and to invest in the city of Whitehorse. The verses  (4-7) are made up of a letter that Jeremiah gave to the people of Israel when they were in exile in Babylon. They say to "build houses and settle down: plant gardens and eat what they produce... seek the peace and prosperity of the city ... and pray to the Lord for it because if it prospers, you too will prosper". This doesn't mean we are going to be buying a house here any time soon, but I think it does mean a bit of a perspective-shift for me during our time here. I could easily spend my time here working and then during my off-time enjoying the many benefits of living in such a wild beautiful place. The truth is, I have an opportunity to pray for this city and to invest in it, not just for my own benefit, but for the benefit of others. I'm not sure what this exactly means for me, but it is something that is on my heart and that I believe I need to be open to as I search for my purpose here in Whitehorse.