Tough Thighs

  I have been reading this book called One Thousand Gifts (Ann Voskamp). A good friend gave me the book this summer and it has been very timely. It is about counting the blessings all around you and recognizing the grace of God in daily life. Mid-way through the book she uses an example of a sermon she heard on Genesis 32:22-31 about Jacob wrestling with God. It really resonated with me. Here is the excerpt:
 

"A long time ago, a preacher named James H McConkey asked a friend of his, a doctor, 'What is the exact significance of God's touching Jacob upon the sinew of his thigh?'"
"And the doctor told him, 'The sinew of the thigh is the strongest in the human body. A horse couldn't even tear it apart.'"
These are word I have never forgotten, what preacher McConkey said: "Ah, I see. The Lord has to break us down at the strongest part of our self-life before He can have his own way of blessing with us." (Voskamp, 138).

 
  Earlier Voskamp expresses her frustration that often she chooses control over joy and I have to admit I do the same. As a teacher, my strengths lie in organization, long vision planning, and leadership; however, often those strengths can get in the way when I put those goals and plans ahead of what God's will for my life might be. I can become bitter, angry, or depressed when I lose that control.

  I really resisted this move to Whitehorse. I had other plans. I have had to surrender a lot of the control I had over my life to head to this unknown place that is not even within driving distance of the known. I had to wonder if I would be employed, if we could afford the ghastly rental prices here, if we would be able to find a community and friends. I know people have taken larger steps of faith, but for me, this was big. Even now that we are living here, some unknowns remain. But I have really felt the blessings of peace and joy, having surrendered my control over to God (a daily practice). I'm so thankful to have the comfort of knowing that an all-powerful, sovereign, loving God is watching over Marcel and I and we are in the palm of His hands. The difficult thing about surrendering to God, about growing in faith- is that the only way to learn how to do it is to practice it. Every step of dependence on God allows the confidence of my faith to grow and to understand in new ways that Jesus was truth-telling when he said: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Cor. 12:9).

  That said, my lifestyle of supply teaching will be one of daily surrender. The days are unpredictable and in an environment and with colleagues that I have limited experience. There are advantages to supply teaching, but the idea of not knowing what school, grade, subject, or students I will be encountering each day (or if I have work) does make my control-driven-self nervous and edgy.

  Yesterday was my first day supply teaching in Whitehorse. Ironically, I was in to replace the one other familiar face to me in the education world, a girl who moved here with her husband in August that Marcel and I know from our Redeemer years. Sunday night we met up for the first time in Whitehorse and she even gave me the low-down on her classes which really helped me be more prepared for what my day was going to look like yesterday. Unpredictably, she became ill yesterday, and so I received a call at 8 am wondering if I could make it to the school in half an hour.

  There are 4 schools within 1.5 km of our apartment and this highschool was one of them so Marcel and I kicked it into high gear so I could get there in time. He made me an awesome lunch and I put together a few emergency lesson plan items just in case. I just received my certification to teach in the Yukon on Friday last week and Monday of this week I went to the four schools in my area to introduce myself so I was very surprised to get a call the very next day (Tuesday), but thankful.

  The highschool I taught in yesterday has 600 students and I supply taught four English classes. Candice (the ill teacher) was very organized and lesson plans were handed to me so things went very smoothly. It is located in a low-socio-economic area and the students come from a range of backgrounds and family situations. Some of the students live on campus in dorms because they are from rural areas in the Yukon. For the most part, the students were respectful and cooperative, although there was some foul language I had to monitor. I can understand that teaching the grade 11 class for Candice would be challenging because many of the teenagers in that class are apathetic and argumentative. I’m pretty sure three of them actually skipped out on class when they told me they were headed to the library because they didn’t return when I clearly stated they were required to. Thankfully, other than reporting to the teacher I’m replacing, I don’t have to deal with the consequences of their choices.  

  Today I didn’t get a call to supply anywhere so I’m catching up on some emails, trying to get our internet set up in our home, and other household errands. I’m really thankful for the family member that gave us $40 of Starbucks gift cards because I’m here often, enjoying a java and using their wifi. So far these blogs have been pretty long and reflective, but I think once I have wifi I’ll be able to add smaller snapshots (literally and figuratively), rather than the weekly ponderings I’ve had so much time to dwell upon.

  Again, I’m so thankful for all the support we have felt from back home. It is so encouraging to have 48 likes on facebook when I report that my first day of supply teaching is successful! I know that things are going so smoothly here because of all the prayer support we’ve had. Every day, I’m in awe at how things are coming together so well, despite my lack of preparation and control, and due to the foresight and control of our Heavenly Father.

 
In His hands,

 

Amy