Perseverance and Thanksgiving

  Last week was a toughie. I've had moments in the last week where I've feared going back into the deep darkness of negativity and depressed thoughts that once took a hold of me in years past. I don't want to go back there. Last week I was diagnosed with a mild form of pneumonia. I spent much of the week in bed or on the couch drinking constant warm fluids and feeling pretty weak. I think when you're body is in that kind of vulnerable, dependent state everything looks bad. I'm starting to feel stronger and with that strength, fortunately, I've been able to have a clearer perspective on life.
  I've been struggling with multiple health issues lately and really have a hard time dealing with the effects of the limits it creates. Often I have to cancel planned events or limit myself to certain activities and I really miss being free, outgoing, and full of spirit and energy. It feels like I lose part of myself when I'm plagued with migraines, frustrations of excema, and now the hit my lungs have taken with this bout of bacterial infection. Because I kept active all winter playing hockey and running, two weeks ago I was enjoying a 7 km run or 15 km bike ride. Yesterday, Marcel went for a jog with me and I could barely run 300 metres without stopping to cough or gain my breath back. It is so frustrating and I know the recovery is going to be a long road.
  Then, last Friday, our car was stolen. My mind was spinning. What is the meaning of this? What is God trying to teach us and why would He allow this to happen? I know that compared to what some people have in the world, a car is a luxury item, but to us, "Scout" as we affectionally dubbed our Nissan Sentra, provides a lot of independence to our lives. Marcel especially depends on the car to get to events he has to cover for work and it allows me to work outside of the Riverdale radius. It turns out some 12-15 year olds took it out joy-riding for the night. The police found it in a ditch late Saturday night and we are so thankful to have it back. The kids did quite a number on it though, and it is being checked out by a mechanic this week to see what kind of damage our poor Scout endured.
  I know we are not the only ones who endure hardships. Everyone, whether silently or publicly, struggles with something at some time or another. Why do these hardships happen? I can only find one answer in Scripture.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
James 1:2-4

Perseverance.
It is defined as steady persistance in belief, purpose, or action in spite of difficulties.
It is also interesting that many dictionaries also include a Christian meaning as well: remaining in a state of grace until death.  

I know God is real. I know He knows our needs better than we do ourselves. I know that he has purposed us to be in the Yukon right now- even though this never-ending winter is really getting to my spirit. I don't know what God's plans are for our future-where, what, or how, but I know that He holds us in His big capable hands and since He has control over the universe, He can make anything happen (even when the world says the worst job for 2013 is a reporter and teaching jobs are slim to none in most of Canada). Sometimes there seems to be a lot going against us, but I have to and do believe that God is for us- and then who can be against us? (Rom 8:31).

I am also thankful for God's never-ending grace. He sees us and our mistakes. He loves us and we are more than conquerors because of and through the power of His love (Rom 8:37-39). I guess my job now is to fix my eyes on Jesus, to pray for His Spirit to refine our faith in Him. That if it is not God's will to bring complete healing to my migraines, I would rest in His grace and love. I would be thankful that I have the support of a caring husband, meds that can take the edge off, and accepting friends that understand when I need to cancel plans. Also when things become difficult, I need to remember the great sacrifice that Christ made for us so that eventually all things will be renewed and there will be no more sorrow or pain. To persevere and endure in rough situations, I need to focus on the hope of the coming Kingdom of God and find strength in the daily grace and love of God.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,  fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
 Hebrews 12:1-3

Maybe this post is just a pep talk for myself. I can feel my spirit being renewed as I write this and become more aware of the promises of our capable God and Father. 
Anne Voskamp in her book "A Thousand Gifts" has provided me with numerous reminders of how to regain focus on life when things seem to be a tornado of chaos and disarray. I've written some down to hang in my house as constant reminders: 







  

 

 

 

Thanksgiving- A practice of renewing the joy of the Lord.

 

I'm thankful for:

 

* A God that loves me unconditionally

* Hope of a time without sickness or sorrow

* Christian friendships in Yukon and a great Bible study group

* A loving husband who fears the Lord

* Supportive family who write and call

* medicine and doctors

* warm liquids for a sore throat

* music that lifts the soul

* a car on lend from someone from church

* sunshine (now 5:55 am - 10:00 pm)

* consistent work at familiar schools

* the joy that children and teens bring

* a summer job

* Tea from Marcel's coworker (David's Tea is amazing!)

* Mom's soup recipe

* Sleep

* A day off to renew my mind

* Encouraging sermons of Tim Keller and the Redeemer Presby App

* Letters from nieces

* dropies from Holland

* Time to get crafty, sew, and paint

* The Leafs making the playoffs and nights on the couch with Marcel watching hockey



  Writing about struggles is a vulnerable activity, but I know I'm not the only one who faces them. Writing also cements these truths I've been reflecting on and keeps me accountable to facing life with hope and thanksgiving in perseverance, rather than wallowing in my self-centered world. With the help of the Holy Spirit, I pray that these reflections make their mark on my heart so I don't soon forget the art of dealing with difficulties, but face them with the hope of the gospel and strength of the Spirit. I hope it also encourages others to not lose hope, but to endure by focussing on the cross and giving thanks. Here is one more uplifting passage for those discouraged or in despair.

Why do you complain, Jacob?
Why do you say, Israel,
“My way is hidden from the Lord;
my cause is disregarded by my God”?
²⁸ Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
²⁹ He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
³¹ but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:27-31